The Monster They See
by SerpentineShadows
Summary: Post-FE10. Ike wonders about the enemies he's killed.


**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own ****_Radiant Dawn_****.  
Warnings: Death. If people dying makes you queasy, you should turn back now. Ike is probably OOC because I'm writing late at night (more like early in the morning).  
I also completely ignore the fact that the bodies disappear and that the sides take turns and probably more stuff. Basically, it's more realistic. Oh, and Happy New Year's. And now, on with the story.  
1/15/14: I edited the story a bit because I saw a few mistakes when I looked back. I'm actually thinking of doing this for other characters: same style, but different background.**

* * *

The waves are calm. It's one of those days where Ike can just relax, breathing in the sea air. He stares up at the cloudless blue sky, then back to where he came from. He can't see Tellius anymore; that's better for him. Seeing Tellius would remind him of Mist, of the company, of all his friends. He'd miss them, and his chest would ache. He wouldn't turn back–his resolve wasn't that weak–but the memories of his homeland will always bring him to the verge of turning back.

He'd definitely long for his friends on this journey, but his homeland also makes him remember times he'd rather forget. To take back Crimea, he picked up his sword. To save the petrified people, he fought. Now, he's off to see the rest of the world if it exists, and the wars taint his memories.

But he can't help envisioning the battlefields each time he closes his eyes. It's mostly peaceful out at sea, and there's not much to do but contemplate.

He thinks of his friends and swallows the bitter tears that haven't formed yet.

He wonders about the distant lands he's going to visit and if they're anything like Tellius.

He remembers those times when he was almost _enjoying_ fighting during the war, the thrill of swinging his sword around pumping through his veins.

Then, he dreams of the past. They're not the happy memories–the ones with his father and Mist and Soren and Titania and the rest of the company–because the painful memories are somehow easier to recall. He's not sure why, but it's getting harder to remember what his father looked like even though his recollection of the two wars are still crystal clear.

Today, he dreams of fighting against Begnion and Daein, of fighting the Disciples of Order, of defeating Ashera.

* * *

_Ike surveys the crossing of Ribahn River from afar after they return from the senators' camp. It's a fascinating sight, seeing all those people struggling to not let the enemy win, but at the same time, it sickens him. There are so many people at there, and many of them are being killed._

_He sees one of the tiger laguz ripping out a myrmidon's throat and grimaces, feeling the urge to throw up. He wonders briefly if he made the right choice, to help the laguz. At that moment, the same tiger is slain by a shaking warrior. The steel axe cleaves straight through the laguz's side. Then, Ike scolds himself for even doubting the laguz. This is war; of course blood will be shed._

_Ike hides that moment where he let his doubt show. In this age, the laguz are hated and that's the reason behind this whole war. He mopes over that second starting from when they cross the river to when they near Castle Seliora. There, a battle begins again, and that's one of the times he's grateful for it. This kind of fighting, though it takes lives, takes his mind off unsettling thoughts because he has to pay attention to stay alive._

* * *

Ike's hand absentmindedly glides through the water. The water slides off his palm, escaping back into the sea. He watches the sun rays hitting the water in his hand so that it sparkles as it joins the rest of the vast ocean. A slippery fish wanders near his still fingers, possibly because of the smell. It curiously nips at his thumb.

In a swift movement, he grasps the fish and lifts it out of the water. The fish's gaping eyes bulge, flickering, while it wiggles around. Ike grips the fish more firmly. Its mouth opens and closes, as if gasping for air.

How simple would it be to end this tiny fish's life?

It would be laughably easy. Taking a life is easier than it seems to be. The little fish would eventually die out if he just held it long enough.

Luckily for the fish, Ike doesn't kill it. The moment he lets it slip through his fingers, the fish jumps back into the water and swims away.

* * *

_Ike sees Micaiah on the other end of the battlefield, surrounded by her comrades. Skrimir and Tibarn along with several other laguz aid him as his group advances toward Micaiah._

_She holds her ground, glaring at Ike. She clutches a book as if it is her lifeline. Beside her is Sothe, her loyal friend. He looks nervous, but a mask covers up the uncertainty; determination covers his features, and his earlier anxiety disappears. Similar expressions adorn the soldiers who know Micaiah personally. Most of the others simply join the fight for the killing of "sub-humans" and the friends of the "sub-humans"._

_Ike's group draws closer; they've killed at least forty people and wounded the green-haired soldier, amateur swordsman, and brown-haired warrior. Only a few of the laguz allies have died._

_That's when Ike notices it. Nailah and Prince Rafiel aren't shaken yet, but the people surrounding them are starting to feel worried. Micaiah's grip on her book becomes tighter, and she's almost destroying it. Sothe's grip on his dagger weakens. Kurthnaga remains in his transformed state, but he's eyeing Ena like he won't know what to do if she comes within range. Tauroneo looks at Ike's group with a somber expression. The blonde sniper notches an arrow but wipes his sweaty palms frequently. The rest approach Ike's group with less enthusiasm and spirit._

_Ike is close enough now to see Micaiah's face clearly. Although he's fighting off the sleep spell that was casted on him earlier, he sees the emotion shown on her face with frightening clarity. She's starting to run off with Sothe to who knows where, but he knows what he saw. The Priestess of Dawn, the Silver Maiden, was experiencing fear; it might have been fear of her own death, the ruin of her country, the loss of her friends, or something else entirely, but Micaiah was afraid._

* * *

Ike pulls his hand out of the water and shakes it. He lies back on the old wood of his small boat and gazes up at the sky again. He holds up his sword hand.

It has taken the lives of many for a cause he believed (and still believes) to be just. It has shed enough blood to paint all of Melior a brilliant red. It has made many tremble in fear.

Ike thinks back to the Disciples of Order and realizes just how much he notices during a fight. Maybe he's not aware of it during the actual fight, but later he remembers each moment, especially when they die.

* * *

_Ragnell slices cleanly through an archer. The man's limbs become limp as blood spews from the gaping wound on his chest. His bow falls to the ground. He collapses, holding one hand over his chest while the other reaches out. The archer chokes. His blood stains the pure white snow._

_With his last shuddering breath, the archer whispers, "How...?"_

_Through the fighting, Ike hears the man's final words. He glances down at the man whose expression is forever frozen into one of confusion, whose eyes have lost their light._

_The archer believes all the way until his final moment that he's right, that Ashera will win in the end. He becomes on of the Disciples because Ashera wills him to. He follows Ashera's will because there's no way those ruffians will be able to defeat a blessed soldier._

_But they can and they are._

_Ike understands and sympathizes with the enemy because that's the way he is. He stares deep into the fallen archer's eyes and observes that although his expression shows confusion, his eyes show his fear of death._

_Earlier, the archer shot arrows at Soren and was laughing while doing so. He was proud and arrogant, believing that Ashera's blessing was enough to protect him. Yet, as soon as Ike waved his sword, fear completely erased his confidence._

_Now, a halberdier tries to spear Ike. Because he's distracted, Ike's barely able to lift Ragnell to counter the strike. He ends up with a slight scratch on his arm. The halberdier smirks just like the archer and raises his lance for another hit. Ike spins out of the way and retaliates with a slash that ends the enemy's life. Just as before, the bravado is wiped away by fear._

_All those who fall by Ike's blade share the same desperation in their eyes. Ike notices that, too, and wonders if maybe they think he's a monster._

* * *

Ike pictures those soldiers and wonders exactly what they're thinking as they die. A twinge of regret pains him, but it goes away quickly enough. He convinces himself that freeing Crimea and those people was the right course of action. Of course it was; otherwise, many more people would've died. Still, the regret lingers, and it reminds him of the first time he killed a man.

* * *

_Bandits have overrun a village. To drive them away is Ike's first job._

_He's inexperienced on the real battlefield, having only practiced in spars. Naturally, he hesitates a bit when approaching his first ever real enemy. Then, the adrenaline kicks in and he charges. Ike lands a lucky hit. The bandits are extremely weak, so with dodging and a few more hits, the axe-wielding bandit is dead._

_The adrenaline dies down, and Ike realizes the weight of what he's done. He's killed a man. Granted, the bandit was probably a villain that wouldn't do any good to the world, but he was still a living, breathing being._

_Ike's sure he's about to break down then and there, but Titania rests a hand on his shoulder. Her eyes silently inquire, "Are you okay?"_

_For once, Ike is uncertain of what to say. In the end, Boyd pats him on the back and distracts him from answering. _

_"Don't get distracted," he yells noisily._

_The fighting takes his mind off of his first kill, but he spends the rest of the battle feeling numb. This moment stays with Ike for a long time._

* * *

Then, Ike thinks of the stronger opponents. The ones like Lekain, the Black Knight–no, Zelgius, King Dheginsea, Sephiran, and Ashera. They're proud and confident in their abilities up until the end, where they're dying. The looks on their dying faces remain with him even now.

* * *

_Lekain Jr. is, thankfully, dead. His jeering laughs and sneers ring in Ike's ears. He only looks at the corpse for a moment, but that glimpse is enough for him to see that Lekain's not that different from all the other goons._

_That smug smirk is no longer on his face, replaced by fear._

_Fear, fear, fear. Ike sees it everywhere in the war each time someone dies. That split second before death is enough for most people to realize what's coming, and that's when the fear comes._

* * *

_Zelgius is no different. Ike mutters a prayer under his breath before they continue forward._

_When he first saw Zelgius, he was overwhelmingly strong. Now, in the Tower of Guidance, Ike comes out as the stronger of the two._

_Zelgius dies an honorable death, but Ike managed to capture the inkling of fear in Zelgius's swing when Ike dodged and dealt the final blow._

_Before Zelgius breathes his last, he gazes at Ike with an unreadable expression. Ike wonders then if Zelgius, like all the others, regarded him as if he is a monster._

* * *

_Dheginsea vows not to defy Ashera, and nothing will change his mind. Ike is reluctant to fight against the dragon king because of his strength and because he's Kurthnaga's father._

_Even so, he does and he wins, but he doesn't feel happy._

_Ike's mind is focused on the bigger picture, so he doesn't regret taking down Dheginsea, but he does have to look away from Dheginsea's fallen form._

_They leave before Dheginsea actually dies, but the agony on his face as he succumbs to his injuries is almost unbearable._

_The fall of the mighty is a sickening sight indeed._

* * *

_Sephiran stands in their way, and Ike doesn't hesitate when facing him but Sanaki does. Like Zelgius and Dheginsea, Sephiran's fear isn't as displayed clearly for anyone to see._

_Ike senses the fear, but what Sephiran fears isn't death. In fact, Sephiran welcomes it. What Sephiran fears is something else entirely, and Ike feels a bit disappointed when he doesn't get to know just what that is._

* * *

_They face Ashera, who's a goddess. Ike, personally, doesn't feel the fear. He's past that, and all he wants now is to turn everyone back to normal._

_Ashera has aura protecting her, and on top of that, she's incredibly resilient and strong. It takes a while, but with excellently pulled off combinations, they manage to defeat her._

_As Ashera fades away, Ike sees her inability to comprehend her defeat. He sees her mind slowly working, trying to see if what she wanted is wrong after all. She stares at him just like all the others._

_Ike is certain that even though Ashera is a goddess, she's capable of feeling fear. He is certain that's what she's feeling now as she stares at him._

_Unheard by anyone else, Ashera whispers, completely serious, "What are you?"_

_She's fascinated that a human could not only stand up to her but also defeat her and survive._

* * *

Ike now wonders what Ashera–not Yune or Ashunera–thought of him. Was he–is he–a monster for defying her?

The starry night sky greets Ike's question, and that's when he finally notices how long he's been pondering. His stomach growls, and he thinks about what he's going to eat.

He still has some dried food left, so he gobbles all that up. As the waves churn, rocking the boat gently, Ike drifts off into dreamland.

When he wakes, it'll be another day for another thought to spend time thinking about.

Still, today is one of the most interesting topics he's wandered upon since he started his journey.

What, exactly, did his opponents think of him once he became stronger? Was he a monster in their eyes?


End file.
